Why the Narcissist is Obsessed Over You!
- Aug 29
- 3 min read
When I say you turned the tables, I don't mean that lightly!
The narcissist you were dealing with never expected you to leave. In fact, they expected to be the star in your life and the center of your attention!
For a narcissist, their sense of validation comes from external validation. This means in order to validate the identity they have created for themselves they must do it through you.
The love bombing, the gaslighting, and various forms of manipulation all were designed to have you running and chasing towards them.
When you chase after the narcissist you feed into their grandiose sense of self and give them a false sense of importance. In other words, they gain a sense of superiority.
By you walking away and not chasing after the narcissist you not only bruised their ego, you damaged their entire sense of self and false identity.
The narcissist now has to regain control over their false identity, but first they have to figure out where they went wrong.
When you did not respond in the way the narcissist expected the first thing they did was check your social media. Blocked. Okay, then they check through a fake account or one held by a friend. To their surprise, they see you thriving and doing well. What happens next? The obsession begins.
They may contact you through an inconspicuous account or even directly with a vague message. All to check the temperature on you and see where you’re at emotionally.
When this doesn't work, they may even try to use social media to get you interested in them and bait your curiosity.
Since you went no contact with the narcissist and are not even looking at them none of this is working.
They are not receiving their regular supply of your attention or emotional outpouring. They then start feigning on this like an addict who has lost their supply.
They may temporarily distract with other supplies, but the more you're glowing, the more you're ignoring, the more you stop paying attention to them, the more they desire to be with you. The narcissist becomes obsessed with you.
Not because they miss you or genuinely care, but because they wish to turn the tables.
They want you to be the one fawning after them, checking them on social media accounts, and watching their every move. Since you are not, this obsession begins to grow into anger.
The narcissist begins to wonder, "how come they are not watching me?" "Who do they think they are"? "This must be some kind of mistake"!
This is when they begin to start working on their plan for reentry,
The narcissist will start studying you, gathering data, especially on social media, about where you go, who you hang out with, and most importantly, your emotional state.
They will then use this information to make a grand appearance back into your life. Not suddenly, in some cases (depending on how you left), years later!
For this reason, it is of the upmost importance to keep STRONG BOUNDARIES.
It is not uncommon that narcissist will seem to magically appear at a time where you are the most vulnerable or susceptible to letting them back in. It may be during a care free period or one where you're experimenting with a new way of life.
Most importantly, know every moment that you're happy and having a good time, the narcissist senses that and wishes change it.
The happier you are, the less important they feel.
This is not to say think about them in any way.
In fact, I'm saying don't think about them and when they try to reappear keep your boundaries high.
No fun nights out, no reconciliation, and above all do not second guess yourself!
Your intuition is there for a reason. Continue to listen to it and stay safe from these social predators.
This video will go into more details as well as highlight a cautionary tale of a nurse who let in a narcissist years later at the peak of her life. Unfortunately, she didn't get another chance after letting her guard down and lowering her boundaries.
Copyright Edge of Illumination Renne Meejah 2025 All Rights Reserved
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